Oh yes I did!
Forget all the cliché movies or novels of a women who goes on a journey of soul searching right before her wedding day looking to analyze herself through her past relationships in order to make sure that she is marrying Mr. Right… Yawning….
Yeah, let’s forget about that, and just do it right now, why not? You can’t say that you haven’t peeked at your ex-boyfriend’s Facebook page before, or at least felt temped to. And I’m “friends” with almost all of my ex-boyfriends so there is no shame in my game.
Let get this party started.
I want to narrow it down to 3 guys, mainly based on the time that I spent my life caring about them, but most importantly they all actually meant something to me. The rest were just fillers and I’m sure it’s reciprocated, so it’s all good.
Disclaimer: To protect identities, I’m going to change names of the people involved. I am not that unconsidered!
The Hip Hop Lover
Let’s travel back to 1998, I was 13 years young, and I had lived in Chile for one year and had made best friends with a bubbly girl named Paula. Paula lived on a street with a bunch of neighbors in our same age range whom had all grown up together, so we all quickly became friends. There was this one kid on the block that I fell in love with instantly. And I refuse to argue that 13 year old kids cannot fall in love because I totally did. Call it hormones or a different kind of love, but I was lost for this pretty boy. I remember seeing my heartbeats pulsating on my shirt every time I saw him, and if that is not cute, I do not know what is. It was of course nerves but I think it’s completely adorable how much we loved each other as young as we were. It was my first love, and summer 1998 was probably one of the best summers in my teenage life.
He was a Hip Hop singer, and I thought he was the bees knees and simply superpower cool. I felt so proud that this cool dude wanted me, and I remember feeling like the most popular girl for having an older boyfriend that was a rapper. He had these hazel eyes and dark blonde hair, and the kind of hair-do that Nick Carter had when BSB came out. I was completely boy crazy over him and he could not do any wrong in my eyes but did everything wrong in my parents eyes. Our Romeo and Juliet element was that he was a rapper after all, so he had to live up to it. That wannabe rapper lifestyle was just not acceptable for a 13 year old girl. Even so, this love story lasted forever. We must have been on and off for almost 3 to 4 years before it stopped completely. He ended up moving to Santiago (the capital of Chile, 2 hours away from where I lived), and I grew out of the bad boy phase.
The best thing about him: His Virgo ways of sweeping me off my feet.
The worst thing about him: His pride.
What I loved about myself in that relationship: I was the bees knees by association (or at least I thought so).
Why did it end? I can’t think of one specific reason, but I think that overall it was just an age thing. This was a G rated love story, nothing more.
What did I learn about myself: I am not cool at all and Hip Hop fashion is not for me.
What is he doing now? I can’t expect that every one is going to be on my social media level, so there is not that many juicy details that I can find about his current state, but on Facebook he has a bunch of surfer pics which must be a passion that he replaced his Hip Hop career with. He has a beautiful daughter that looks just like him, and then there are some more pictures of big battle ships which reminds me that his dad was a marine or something along those lines. Not much dirt to dig into unfortunately. He does has two pictures of himself, and he looks exactly the same. He did leave his Nick Carter mane on a shelf and got himself a hair cut for grown-ups.
The Best Friend
Now let’s fast forward t0 2003, when I was 18 years old, experiencing my last year of High School. I was dating this guy in my class with no future plans together since I was going to Sweden for college. We both knew that it was going to end but we didn’t really care. We were High School seniors about to graduate so we did everything possible to enjoy our last year with the rest of our classmates. In our common circle of friends, and one of his best friends, there was this guy named Sam who was really a great and fun guy. We always had this really cool connection as friends, and if you believe in Zodiac signs, he was yet another Virgo which is my most compatible sign. Just weeks away from our graduation we started to flirt with each other, going from hi hi ha ha to a very serious flirting. Let’s not forget that I was still dating his friend. And so we graduated, and New Year’s Eve was around the corner, and I ended up in Reñaca Beach in Viña del Mar (Chile) with my girlfriends for a big New Year’s Eve beach party. We walked into Sam by coincidence at McDonald’s (of all places). Sparks flied, stars aligned, and we had our New Year’s Eve moment together. We basically just happened. I remember calling my mom telling her about this magical moment and how destiny had put him there that night for us to begin something, and the first thing she said was that before we even thought about continuing whatever had happen, I had to go and break up with the other guy immediately. My mom is just so amazing, isn’t she? So I followed her demands and broke up with the other guy the day after with no hard feelings at all from either part. So there we were, Sam and I, enjoying my last summer in Chile before moving to Sweden for college. We literally spent every single day together until it was time to go to the airport. It’s so insane to think that love can be built so fast, but I think that we had a lot of history as friends which made this strong feeling of love even possible. We cried our eyeballs out when we kissed good bye at the airport, and we even decided to try a long distance relationship. And it did last for the longest time, he even came visit me in Sweden for the following Christmas and New Year’s Eve. I can’t put a finger on what made us drift apart but it had to be the long distance or maybe that other thing that I will have to keep private for now. Maybe one day I’ll talk about it publicly.
The best thing about him: He has the biggest heart and I absolutely adore his family.
The worst thing about him: He did not dream big enough.
What I loved about myself in that relationship: He really made me feel like I was the only person on his planet.
Why did it end? Either the long distance cooled down our love for each other or that other thing that I am not ready to share that ruined a possible future together.
What did I learn about myself: I want more in life before I wife up.
What is he doing now? He has the cutest little son with a girl that actually looks a lot like me. I am extremely happy that he got what he wanted. He always wanted to be a young dad, and basically devote his life to be a family dad just like his father. And I think it’s absolutely adorable. He seems extremely happy but also extremely exhausted.
I went to Sweden, finished up an Associate’s degree instead of a Bachelor’s degree because I simply did not feel happy in Sweden after all, so I decided to cut it short and move back to Chile. I thought that I was going to be able to pick up where I left my love story with Sam but I found out that he already had another girlfriend. Therefore, the hideous dating game started. I dated, and partied my derriere off until one day, my friends and I walked in to this very popular Mexican restaurant in Viña del Mar, and I decided to flirt like crazy with these two cute waiters who looked like twins. I felt bold that night and left my number on the table before leaving, and left it to destiny. Andrew ended up calling me and the rest is history. We ended up being together for 3 years until I came to the U.S to finish my dual degree at San Diego State University. I always wonder how different it would have been if the other waiter had called…
Long story short, Andrew turned out to be a complete thief, stealing money from my parents uncontrollably. The funny thing (not funny at all) is that that’s not why we broke up. We all found out about his horrible habits about 6 months after we broke up…
The best thing about him: He was a charm troll.
The worst thing about him: He was way too conservative and jealous.
What I loved about myself in that relationship: I felt very accomplished (mainly because he was not).
Why did it end? I just felt like he wasn’t the one (I already started to feel that way when he proposed to me).
What did I learn about myself: I still struggle today with the virtue of forgiveness.
What is he doing now? Due to the whole legal process, he and his family cut all communication with my family in order to protect him, so I really do not know what he is up to. All I know is that he cannot leave the country because of his misdemeanor, he spent 2 days in jail because of what he did, he gained a lot of weight, and he stalks me on LinkedIn now and then.